In our every day life you come across times that you are afraid and can not get past it and when you have been hurt by someone so dearly that you think it's impossible to forgive them. Fear and Forgiveness can prevent us from healing, moving on and makes the most out of the life we have been given.
Here are some strategies from Dr. Dawn Cadwallader on her blog from 2013 -
Random Thoughts From My Monkey Mind
Through the past few years of personal growth, I have developed different strategies to overcome what may be considered two of the biggest obstacles that keep us from having what we want in life. Forgiveness and fear have both paralyzed me at times and through trial and error I have developed a few ways to get beyond them and work to become a better person.
Forgiveness of others and of oneself can be difficult. At times, choosing to be a victim is one that we make. Lack of forgiveness allows those who have wronged us to maintain power over our emotions. Forgiveness can be so freeing and allow us to move beyond pain and grow as individuals.
Fear can stop us dead in our tracks and keep us from making decisions, finding happiness, and letting go of past challenges. By removing fears, we can allow ourselves the freedom to experience all that there is in life.
Both techniques in removing fear and giving forgiveness are considered “pattern interrupts.” A pattern interrupt is a way to change a person’s present state. We all have behavior patterns that are habits. Pattern can be interrupted easily by any unexpected or sudden movement or response.
These tools may help you:
Forgiveness: The moment you feel that someone has wronged you, your feelings are hurt, or even when you are embarrassed over your own actions or behaviors, immediately recognize the feeling….STOP! Say out loud, “I forgive you.”
Whether it be forgiveness for someone else or of yourself, merely by stopping the pattern of giving into feelings of anger, hatred, sadness, resentment, or shame, one can much more easily let go of the pain. Even if you don’t immediately feel the forgiveness, saying it out loud makes it “real” and allows for the heart to heal.
Fear: The biggest struggle many people have with fear is the immediate response they have when bad or unexpected things happen to them that may not be what was desired. Fear can send individuals into a downward spiral and then it seems as though more and more negative things come to them.
You can learn to recognize that pit-in-the-stomach feeling when you are anxious or scared and….STOP! Hold your arms out wide, lift your head up, look to the sky, and say, “Thank you, Universe! I am grateful and open myself up to learn the valuable lesson you have to teach me from this.”
Whether or not you actually feel gratitude for the bad event is irrelevant. What matters is that you are interrupting the pattern of your past habits of allowing overwhelming fear to control your life.
You will find that the more you practice both of these, the easier they become and the faster you can bounce back from life’s bumpy road.